He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
