Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
