so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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