Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Randomize