Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
