Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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