He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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