Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I love having hate sex.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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