It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
