i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
