it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
