What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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