Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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