if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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