just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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