watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
