He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
