Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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