I think my vagina is haunted
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
