You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
