You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
