quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
