There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
