So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
