We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
This is my life. Enjoy the view
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
