you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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