No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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