I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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