is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
