So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
