youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
