There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize