a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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