oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
