You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize