i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
