You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
