Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
