oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
