speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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