i permit you to call me
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I am available for nakedness
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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