Jerry, you need to find god
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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