Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
