I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
