Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
