fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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