im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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