My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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