she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
