I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
sarcasm needs its own font
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
