He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
In America we eat man semen.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
