Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
two words...techno handjob
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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