Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
