I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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