so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
