When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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