found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
