Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
