I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
