Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I see more hoeing in ur future
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