if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
