If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm sobbing to NWA
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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