Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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