eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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